Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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