i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize