so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
So vagazzling was a success
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
