Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
