I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
