I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
