She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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