i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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