he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
