Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
