is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
