Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Randomize
