Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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