Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
