If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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