Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I got inside last night via doggy door
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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