Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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