But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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