I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
