i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
