We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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