Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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