that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
