I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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