This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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