You were right. It hurts to walk today.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
