So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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