she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
