I think my vagina is haunted
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
