I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
