So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
