I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
