Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
