I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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