did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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