It's like God shit irony all over that family
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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