You really coming over, don't trick.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
