yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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