So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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