the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
