everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
