i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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