If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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