shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
