Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
