Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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