I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
