Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
