Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
God gave him joint rollers for hands
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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