I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize