There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
