I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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