she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
