I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
