Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
