So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
