I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
