i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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