His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
