You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I woke up under a house in Key West
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
