So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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